My Favorite Films

“I cry at the start of every movie I guess ‘cause I wish I was making things too.”- Mitski, Working For The Knife

I am about to expose my personality to you all. Everything you need to know about me is shown with my four Letterboxd favorites. Though I am committed to show you all of my character now. I will tell you all about my favorite films. Every single film I have listed has, in a dramatic way, changed my life in one form or another. I have always been fascinated by media. I have determined my life to it. If I'm being completely honest with you today, I will share my personal statement with you- I will consider myself a failure if I don't get to make write or make a film one day. Films and media are very important to me. I love to clench my jaw and immediately tear up, whenever I see a part of myself on screen. Eldest daughter,  a child craving their parent’s validation, a latino family, or a someone going through a sexual identity crisis. Don’t even get me started on how much I romanticize a red theater seat or how my heart explodes when I’m not in love by 10cc is in the soundtrack. So when I say I love media I mean it.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show : 

I was going through a bit of an existential crisis after my high school graduation. I was scared of everything, I felt as if I'd fallen behind from where everyone in my age group was. I didn't have my license yet, one of my old close friends was heading to New York for school( like New York City!?), and I'd spend my days watching everyone posting where they were personally headed for school. I was behind, and that's all I thought about for months, “I’m behind, I'm falling behind, I am a failure, I shouldn't be so behind.” One day when I had Norman Fucking Rockwell playing on repeat while I cried into my pillow, I put on a random movie to drown out very embarrassing loud cries. That movie was The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), directed by Jim Sharman. This movie had everything I needed during my self loathing period. There’s  singing, dancing, and desire. It’s a movie you can’t really figure out what it means, but there’s queer people dancing in a castle and you love it. What made such a comfort watch ( I need to watch it everyday to get myself in a decent mood) was Frank’ N Furter. There was just something empowering about Frank’s character. It felt so good to see the way Frank walked into a room and everyone looked. I wished to embody his confidence- I still do. The way a person states what they want and they do it no questions asked. Rose Tint My World's impact on my life has been greatly noted. For this time in my life the second half of Rose Tint My World was why I watched it everyday. The “Don't dream it, be it.” was exactly what I needed to hear instead of hitting the shuffle button on Norman Fucking Rockwell again. I have dreams- like everyone does. I want to be and do so many things but I'm scared of everything. That’s why I look up to Frank’s confidence. I want to have his confidence. I don’t want to just say I want things; I want to go and I get what I want. Aside from Frank’s character I love the boldness of the costumes, the usage of the color red everywhere ( I love red in films), and the characters themselves. Every character in Rocky Horror has a different story. They all have dreams and desires just like us. 

Fantastic Mr. Fox : 

Now I will say out loud and proud that I saw Fantastic Mr. Fox opening week. Sure I was only six years old but I knew about Wes Anderson longer than most of these pretentious indie film bros. Watching Fantastic Mr. Fox is a memory I hold very close to my heart. We came to the movie theater and my parents were willing to watch anything. I got to choose the movie that day and picked Fantastic Mr. Fox. I remember how watching it felt very magical. I mean talking stop-motion animals, what’s better than that? Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009), directed by Wes Anderson, is a beautiful story about a fox who's in a constant fight with himself. Let it be known that in Fantastic Mr. Fox there’s about three things going on, other than the heist. There’s Mr. Fox throughout the film learning that giving into your natural wild urges, all though it feels good, isn't always the best idea. Mr. Fox learns that- you can’t act like a wild animal all the time. You have to put the things in your life that are important first or you will hurt everyone close to you. There’s Mrs. Fox dealing with regretful feelings on her marriage. She married a wild fox who will never be “mature”. She knows now that, he will continue to make dangerous decisions despite risks he’ll face. These dangerous decisions Mr. Fox is making scare her. If something were to go wrong, it will result in leaving her to be alone to raise Ash. Mrs. Fox just wants a secure life. Then there’s Ash dealing with other people's expectations (In all reality it’s his own expectations). Ash feels “different” for everyone else in this age group and all he wants is fathers validation. He constantly tries to impressed his dad with his skills. These talking foxes show human emotion so well that it amazes me every time. I am Mr. Fox, I sympathize for Mrs. Fox, I know what it's like to feel like Ash. So don't be fooled by how “fall aesthetic’’ this film looks. Fantastic Mr. Fox will break your heart but it has such a power to make you feel less alone by the end of it. 

Volver:

“Te necesito, mama.”

Volver (2006), directed by Pedro Almodóvar changed my life, I haven't been the same person since. I've never taken my mothers love for granted before and after watching Volver I never will. Motherhood comes with secrets. Mothers keep secrets in order to protect their children. It's a mother and daughter story. It's a sisterhood story. Volver is a beautiful tale that touches on mothers dealing with their generational trauma. Raimunda does everything in her power to protect her daughter, because she didn’t get that protection from her own mother.  Throughout the film Raimunda deals with her traumatic childhood while trying to forgive her “dead” mother. She cleans her mothers grave, takes care of her tía, and continues to say only good things about her mother. Raimunda’s sister, Sole, puts a toll on her relationship with Raimunda when she starts lying to her. This hurts Raimunda since her sister is the only family member she has left.  Raimunda and Sole’s are alone, both thier parents are dead. Besides her daughter, her sister is the most valuable relationship she has. So when Sole and Irene (the mother) lie to Raimunda it hurts. Sole had good intentions; she wanted to protect and prevent Raimunda’s trauma from coming back. Raimunda’s mother only hides because she’s guilty (We later learn why that is so). Volver does an excellent job showcasing how every character learns how to deal with their grief, how beautiful womanhood is, motherhood, & the love of family. I couldn’t get through the end of the film without violent sobbing. When the film was over I threw myself into my mothers arms and thanked her. This is the best depiction of motherhood I’ve ever seen. I love everything about it.

I also adore Pedro Almodóvar's use of red, all of his films feel so warm with his uses of color.

Kill Bill: 

I watched Kill Bill (2003), directed by Quentin Tarantino, when I hadn’t reached double digits yet…and remembered it very clearly. I'm not sure who showed me Kill Bill but I watched it all the time when I stayed at my grandma’s house. Who was watching Kill Bill with a six or eight year old in the room? I would be excited when “The Bride” moved her toes, she filled me with such a wave of glee. I thought “The Bride” was the coolest woman ever. Although I remember watching Kill Bill Vol.1 on repeat most days, Kill Bill Vol.2 has always been my favorite- and still is. I love watching Beatrix “The Bride'' gather up all the strength she had in her weakest moment to get out of the wooden casket. She never gave up, she kept going no matter how much it hurt. She needed to get her revenge if it was the last thing she would do. Now that I think about it this was the first film I watched where I'd been exposed to FEMALE RAGE! FEMALE STRENGTH! I fucking love everything about Kill Bill. A woman on a revenge killing spree, with the women being the one and only Uma Thurman, killing those who took her child from her. As Quentin Tarantino's biggest hater I cannot deny how iconic this film is. The “eye” scene, blood splattering across rooms, and amazing one-liners before chaos falls.

Pearl:

I will also say the same thing about Pearl (2022), directed by Ti West, being a film about female rage. A woman who just wanted to live her life. Pearl didn’t want to be stuck in a farm. She didn’t want to put her life on pause to take care of her father, wait for her husband, and live on a farm. I tear up every time I think about Pearl. Pearl never wanted the kind of life she was pushed into living. She has dreams, a life where she was something outside of Harold. While Harold was out living out what he wanted to do. There was Pearl, not able to do anything but wait. With Pearl living by her strict mother's rules, not able to go out freely. The rage that Pearl has comes from broken promises, anger of being stuck, and jealousy of other people close to her leaving. Pearl is angry and rightfully so, (NOT JUSTIFING MURDER) she got revenge on others who kept her from leaving the farm. All she wanted was to dance and Pearl wouldn’t let anyone get in her way. I sympathize with her when she says that she never understood how others got things they wanted so easily. She tried to do everything the way she was supposed to, and still no one saw her.

Anyways, I love all of the films listed so deeply. All of these stories and actors' performances have left a mark on my heart. If you haven’t watched a film on the list I hope you give it a watch and come to adore it.